RockIt Times AmuseLetter
Friends Rock!

Keep the good times rolling for your preschooler!

June 2005 - Issue 15

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. ~Hodding Carter, Jr.

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Hello and welcome to summer!

As school is letting out all over, many of us find ourselves at home with our preschoolers once again. I look forward to this time every year, as do my children. But it doesn't take them long to realize that staying home also means not seeing many of their school chums as often or even at all.

But what better time then summer to plan a get-together?

This issue of the RockIt Times AmuseLetter focuses on planning and executing a successful playdate for your child. Since my friends always bring a smile to my face, I have chosen a smiley craft and snack for you this month! I hope you have fun with them!

Also, don't miss our featured article "Guide To Great Playdates"
by Kim Wallace. Kim offers some great suggestions for everything from planning to saying good-bye at the end without tears.

Contest Winner!

Congratulations to Nanette Maffia-Pawlowski, the winner of our autographed, first edition book, "Teach Me How to Say it Right: Helping Your Child with Articulation Problems" by our frequent guest author Dorothy P, Dougherty, MA, CCC-SLP, Speech/Language Pathologist!

I appreciate everyone taking the time to enter our contest and I certainly wish I could have given each of you a prize. I received some great letters, stories, and very appreciated shows of support for the AmuseLetter. I have published one particularly interesting story in this issue. Please make sure you read the letter from Jackie Hunter in our Reader Feedback section.

Well, that's it for now, folks! Hope you have a pleasant start to your summer and that you take the time to create some wonderful memories with your children.

Best wishes for a rockin' good time!
Mari

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Kid Rock 'n' Roll

Keep the good times rollin' at your playdate by inviting Kid Rock for your motor activity! We play with the children and the parents get a chance to chat, making your playdate a roaring success for all. :D

This party theme may include the following songs or other rockin' tunes:

• The Body Rock
• The Freeze Dance
• Splish Splash
• Who's Got the BeanBag
• Hokey Pokey
• Limbo Rock
• Follow The Leader
• Silly Dance Contest

Reserve your party date today! Email to parties@rockitkids.com or call us at 847-961-6584.

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Dandelion Friend

Materials:

• Yellow construction paper
• Green Construction paper
• Brown Construction paper
• Glue
• Scissors
• Marker

Instructions:

1. Cut a yellow circle 5" and another 4".
2. Cut a circle 2 1/2 inches from the brown paper.
3. Glue the circles one on top of the other, going from largest to smallest.
4. Fringe the yellow circles.
5. Make a smiley face on the brown circle.
6. Cut a long rectangle from green paper for the stem.
7. Glue the flower onto the stem.
8. Add a leaf with the child's name on it.

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If you are in our neighborhood, we happily provide stress-free, interactive children's party entertainment for any function. Or, make it a Kid Rock day no matter where you live, with our perfectly assembled gift bags and party favors!

Visit the official Kid Rock website at http://www.rockitkids.com/
for more information!

Smiley Face Friend Cookies

This is a wonderful way to start off a playdate! Prepare the cookies in advance and have them ready to decorate as your guests arrive. Then put the cookie creations aside until snack time later!

Ingredients:

• Pre-made sugar cookies (homemade or refrigerated dough, your choice)
• Yellow frosting or white frosting tinted with yellow food coloring
• Raisins, M&M's, or other small fruits or candies

Directions:

Have an area set up with cookies, small bowls or cups of the premixed frosting, small frosting spatulas or plastic knifes or spoons.

As each guest arrives, have them go to the cookie station to decorate a cookie for their snack.

The children will start by spreading frosting on the cookie, then decorating it into a smiley face using raisins, fruit or candies.

Make sure to label each child's cookie and set them aside for later.

*A special thanks to Ms. Kim and her handsome sons for helping out with this month's snack! Your smiley cookies are wonderful, guys!

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Little Cookies

Five little cookies in the bakery shop. (hold up 5 fingers)
Shinning bright with the sugar on top. (wiggle fingers)
Along comes (child's name) with a nickel to pay. (hold out hand like offering money)
He/she buys a cookie and takes it away. (march feet)
(continue with four, three, two and one)

*Adjust this rhyme to include the number of children that you have at your playdate. If you sit all the children in a circle, you can go around the circle and call each child's name in turn.

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Guide To Great Playdates
By Kim Wallace

• Making a "date"
• Prepping for a playdate
• Playdate protocol
• Resolving conflicts
• Saying good-bye

If your child's like most, he's been playing with (or at least alongside) other kids for a while. But now that he's entering the preschool years his social life will pick up significantly, and his playdates may take place with less familiar pals on less familiar territory. By keeping some guidelines in mind, you can help ensure that squabbles, scuffles over toys, and tears at pickup time don't mar your child's (or his guests') playdate fun.

Making a "date"
Let your child take the lead. Ask him who he'd like to invite over. If he doesn't express a preference, take your cues from who he seems to gravitate toward at daycare, preschool, or your local playground. Remember, too, that playmates don't have to be the same age. In fact, pairing kids of different ages has some advantages: The older child will help direct play for his young friend, and he'll also relish being the "big kid."

Keep it small. Three really is a crowd when it comes to preschool playdates, says Sara Wilford, director of the Early Childhood Center at Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, New York. Instead, limit playdates to one friend at a time. Otherwise it's too easy for one child to feel left out, and sharing toys becomes that much more difficult.

Keep it short. An hour is fine for a first visit, and two hours is plenty for a get-together between seasoned preschool pals, says Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, teacher Lisa Church, author of Everyday Creative Play. Any longer than that and you're likely to have two bored, tired, and cranky kids on your hands.

Get the facts on food. Because playdates often involve snacks, be sure to ask your guest's parents about food allergies or sensitivities — or just what their probably picky preschooler likes to eat. Knowing a child's preferences ahead of time can help head off a snack-time showdown.

Consider inviting parents, too. For very young children who aren't used to being away from Mom or Dad, and even for older kids making their first visit to your home, consider making the playdate a family affair. Invite the other parent (or caregiver) to join you for coffee and a chat while the kids play, or let her know that it's fine to hang out for a while until her child settles in. Many kids need to work up to the "drop-off" playdate, and many parents are wary about leaving their children in the home of someone they don't know very well.

Prepping for a playdate
Play down TV and computer games. Playdates are supposed to help kids improve their social and communication skills — something that's hard to do when they're staring raptly at a flickering screen or impatiently waiting their turn at the mouse. Save the video or computer game for the post-playdate wind-down, and plan activities the kids can do together instead. (Let your guest's parents as well as your own child know about this no-TV policy ahead of time. That way, the playmate won't show up expecting a private viewing of the new Maisy video your child's been bragging about.)

Let your child help set the activity agenda. Talk about the importance of making his friend feel welcome and then ask him which activities or toys he thinks his playmate might enjoy.

Hide favorite toys. Toy tug-of-wars are common for kids this age. You can talk about sharing until you're blue in the face, but expecting your child to be generous with his most cherished playthings is probably expecting too much. If your child has a few favorite toys that you know he's loath to share, help him put them away before his friend arrives. Then set out some collaborative games and toys (blocks and play dough are good bets), as well as a few playthings he won't mind sharing. (But don't be surprised if he suddenly tries to lay claim to a neglected toy as soon as his pal takes an interest in it!) Help ease your child's tendency to hoard toys by explaining to him that his friend won't be allowed to take any toys home.

Plan some "break time." Besides having some healthy snacks on hand, it's a good idea to have a quiet activity ready in case the kids get too wound up. Sara Wilford suggests baking cookies or reading a book together, making a brief excursion outside, or doing a restful arts-and-crafts project.

Playdate protocol
Get connected. As with any date, the first few minutes of a playdate can be awkward. To help the get-together get off the ground, spend some time helping the kids connect, advises Patty Wipfler, founder and director of the Parents Leadership Institute in Palo Alto, Calif. You can do this by setting up a game or pulling out a few toys they can play with together (such as building blocks or a train set). Once the children are playing easily with one another, take your cue and fade into the background.

Be firm about cleanup. Before the kids get too involved in their play, explain that they need to clean up one activity before they can move on to the next. Waiting until the end of the playdate to initiate cleanup time leaves you with no leverage, and a much bigger mess. (If the kids simply refuse to tidy up, you can hold out a carrot — literally: "We're ready for snack time, you two — but you have to put the blocks away first.") Of course, parents of younger kids will need to actively guide them during cleanup time.

Offer choices to spark play. "Have freeform, open-ended activities available for a playdate," says Maggie Chaffee, a former kindergarten teacher and mother of three in Walnut Creek, California. Some suggestions: Set up a play dough table; fill a plastic basin with water and let the kids dump, pour, and stir the water (never leave them alone, though — even a few inches of water can present a drowning hazard); stock a small sandbox or sand table with shovels and pails; or put out paper and crayons or finger paints. Give the kids two or three options and let them drift from one activity to another (or even create their own games) as the spirit moves them.

Don't push kids to play together. As much as you may have hoped to engage the kids in a rousing game of hide-and-seek or cooperative train-track building, it's equally likely that very young children will simply play side by side with minimal interaction. This so-called parallel play is normal at this age. And though it may not seem like it, kids do get something out of simply watching each other during these interludes.

Make yourself available. Young children need help establishing and maintaining interactions with each other, so don't expect to sit back and relax while you're hosting a playdate. You need to be a constant — though unobtrusive — observer and occasional cheerleader.

Resolving conflicts
Let kids work out their own problems. While you should keep an eye on everything the children do during the playdate, don't jump in at the first sign of trouble. Small disagreements seldom last long, and if you hang back you'll often find that the kids work out their own resolution.

Intervene rarely, but firmly. If a conflict is escalating into verbal or physical confrontation, it's time to step in. Remain calm and make firm statements like, "I can't let you do that to Kyle." Explain that words and actions that hurt are not acceptable, and then coach the kids on coming up with a compromise to the original problem. If the fighting continues, separate the children for a while or introduce a new activity that's less likely to cause conflict.

Pile on the praise. One way to keep negative behavior to a minimum is to consistently acknowledge good behavior. Statements like, "Wow, you were so nice to let Henry play with your favorite train! That made him really happy!" encourage kids to keep it up.

Saying good-bye
Give fair warning. When the end of the playdate draws near, remind the kids that their time together is almost over. ("Five more minutes, guys. Time to finish your game.") If the playdate was a success, preface their parting with a brief discussion about what they enjoyed this time and what they might like to do at their next get-together: "You two did so well building the block tower together. Would you like to play Legos next time?"

Send a memory home. If the kids created anything tangible (drawings, crafts, cookies), send your guest's creation home with him. If not, consider snapping an instant photo of the children together and offer it as a parting gift. Kids are often so excited to share these treasures with their parents that it helps ease them out the door at the end of a playdate.

Take the playdate on the road. Some parents find that rather than leaving both kids wailing (and one of them kicking and screaming) when a guest's parent arrives to drag him out the door, it's easier to end the playdate by getting everyone out of the house. If it's feasible, consider walking or driving your guest home, then make the trip there seem like an adventure: Have the kids race to see who can get their shoes on first, and talk about all the different sights you'll see on the way home. You just might find that the good-byes go more smoothly on your guest's doorstep than they would on your own.

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This last year at my daughter's 1st birthday, we found out that she is profoundly deaf. That means she can't hear a thing, even with hearing aids.

I started noticing between 9-12 months that she wasn't babbling and not really turning to sounds all of the time, but she turned when I clapped. (I learned later that she was feeling the vibrations and watching shadows.)

Two days after her first birthday we went for our year checkup. I told our pediatrician that I was not sure if Holly could hear or if she had ADD. I have a brother that is ADD ... I thought this might be hereditary.) Our pediatrician asked where she was born and come to find out that she didn't have the Newborn Hearing Screening. I thought that it was a routine measure that they did on all babies. Boy, was I wrong! Newborn Screening are not required in some states, one being California!

So within two days, we were at Children's Hospital in San Diego, California to have Holly's hearing checked. Holly was sedated and the doctors started the testing. They did the right ear first. Click...Click...Click... The doctor said, "I am sorry Mr. and Mrs. Hunter, there is no response." I start thinking...that must be the bad ear. It's the other ear she can hear with. Then they tested the left ear. Again, the doctor replied, "I am sorry, there was no response."

What does that mean? She's deaf? How could have this happened? She was a planned pregnancy, I read every pregnancy book and I never missed a prenatal vitamin! So I said to the doctors, "Do I need to get her hearing aids? The doctor said, "I am sorry, I don't think they will work."

Talk about taking your breath away. I was devastated and my husband went into a zombie-like state. I was crying uncontrollably as we walked out of the hospital. Holly had never heard my voice, let alone heard me say, "I love you." This broke my heart. Having a deaf child is not what we had plan on for our life!

After months of testing, from genetic testing, EKG's, CAT scans, blood work, developmental evaluations, everything came back normal or she tested above average. We don't know why Holly is deaf. Deafness can be caused by the following: 40% genetics 30% some type of illness like meningitis, 30% they just don't know, and that's where we fall.

But this last August, our little Holly Belle, at 17 months old, was implanted with a cochlear implant. A cochlear implant is a computer chip that is attached to the skull. They drilled down through the bone and implant an electro wire into the backside (inner part) of the ear. This devise is nothing like a hearing aid. (She wears nothing on her ear, but a microphone that is attached to the back of her head by a magnet in the computer chip.) Its great for a girls because its hidden under there hair.

On August 26th, our little Holly Belle was turned onto sound. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Her eyes fluttered like someone was screaming in her face. She looked at us, like "What's going on here?" and then started to smile. I melted and tears ran down my face. My baby heard her name for the first time. It was a miracle!

Since she was implanted at such a young age, (she just turned 2) our goal is that she will be in a normal kindergarten and for no one to really know she is deaf. She has been hearing now for 7 months and already speaking 2 and 3 words at a time, thanks to lots of speech therapy! We are still in speech, but I am excited to say that she is now attending a "normal" hearing preschool. Kidos that are implanted young with lots of speech don't typically develop those deaf tones in their voice. She doesn't sign ... she hears rain drops!

I want to stress the importance of having your baby's hearing tested. If you see speech not developing or they have a funny tone in their voice, make an appointment with your doctor. The early hearing loss is detected, the better speech quality they will have. After spending so much time at Children's Hospital we feel incredibly blessed that Holly is a healthy, and now hearing, child. May your day be filled with lots of happiness and the magic of laughter!

Fondly,
Jackie Hunter
Temecula, California

Thank you so much, Jackie, for sharing your inspirational story with us. Holly Belle is a beautiful little girl, and I can tell by the sparkle in her eye that she must be just as pretty in the inside! Best wishes to you and your family and to the brave Holly Belle. ~Mari

Do you have comments or suggestions for us? We love to hear and share what our readers think! Please send your feedback to us at: rockittimes@rockitkids.com

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Mari Peckham
RockItTimes@rockitkids.com
IPRA "Outstanding Teacher of the Year" Award Recipient
Publishing Editor, Rock-It Times

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